Ducked into a newspaper/magazine store to avoid the rain - a copy of Fade In stuck in the outside pocket of my jacket. Nothing new or blurbable on the racks, head out the door, to the movie theater. Unknowingly, I have two guys following me. Didn’t discover this until reaching the kiosk and one of them speaks up.. Actually, he didn’t speak at all, just a look. Like, We got you, give up the goods. It’s the magazine store cashier and his Muscle. I smiled, gave him the the cool George Clooney vibe. “Look, you think I’d blatantly walk out of your store with a magazine in my front pocket? Hold on..” grab the tickets.. turn back around.. “Whenever I’m at the movies.. at this theater, I go to your store.”
He’s not sure what to think - still hasn’t said a word. He tells his ‘muscle’, “It’s okay. Let’s go.” I follow, because, hey, they’re going my way. Tap the guys arm, “Don’t worry, you didn’t get ripped off.”
We walk outside the theater and split ways into the mist.
If only it was that easy to rob a bank. Uh, I didn’t take it.. really.
The Bank Job is based on the 1971 robbery of Lloyds Bank in Marylebone London.
Jason Statham, aka dude from Crank, is Terry, a low level thief. He owns a custom auto shop. An old girlfriend knocks on his shop door, tells him she has the ultimate get rich tip: Lloyds bank is changing their security system, they won’t have active alarms for a week. She tells Jason (Terry) they can loot the safe deposit boxes and get away before anyone realizes what happened. Sure, they’ll have to tunnel through dirt, concrete, and reinforced steel, but that’s details - it can be done.
What she doesn’t know is the tip she got is a set up by someone in the British government that wants pictures from one of the safe deposit boxes.
London or not, the British accents through me off. Took about five minutes to tune my ears into the frequency. Once that settled in, it was a satisfying and enjoyable movie. I should say.. adult movie. If guns popping off like fireworks, car chase scenes, and the hits playing in the background like a music video are necessary to get into a movie - don’t waste your time.
The Bank Job has bare breasts, a comical black revolutionary figure named Michael X, government officials that like their asses stung with whips by dominatrixes, and a story that shifts in gear once the bank is robbed. Yeah, when they grab the cash it’s like Tutankhamen’s Curse - all kinds of terrible things happening to everyone involved. It’s a line in the movie, “You take the proceeds and the problems that go with it.”
With bits of bloody torture, bank heist buddies that yap til you want to slap them, and of course, Jason Statham, this is a robbery I can get with.