Beyonce "B'Day" - Music Review

Beyonce - B'Day
(Sony Records)

- reviewed by Chris G.

10 songs shallow B'Day is on shaky ground if they want to call it an album This thing is more like an EP. Even better, unintentionally it's the first album that fits the digital album model. Pick and choose the songs you like or take the whole thing. Given the choice, 99.999% of people would peel off 3 songs and let the rest grow mold. This is not an album. It's Beyonce's sketch sessions as she flexes, for the first time, her personal artistic direction on the entire project.

You've heard the story: how she snuck away from her father to record the album completely on her own time and dime (for sure that Carter guy put in his 5 cents as he appears on two songs.) The result is an album that is more like the coming out of Sasha than the birth of a new independent woman. I'll be honest - why not - I was never a huge Destiny Child's fan, so I can't compare it to previous albums outside of their singles. But this incarnation of Beyonce, this birthday girl, is out of her mind. Screaming like a deranged woman on "Ring the Alarm" it's the most irritating song on the radio. Just a bizarre song that she'd tell you is directed at no one in particular. Although I'm sure she left a pre-advance snippet on Rhianna's voice mail. That song completely wiped out any buzz that "Deja Vu" may have had, more..

- reviewed by Chris G.

Things start off well enough, that's what "Deja Vu" is a decent song that grows on a person after the 15th listen, throw in some Henny shots (Martinis for ya'll females) and it's the greatest thing ever.

"Get Me Bodied," song title aside, is the best song on the album. Her father was rumored to want it as the second single, instead of "Ring the Alarm." Swizz Beatz gave her a track with that ready made bounce for her patented jelly jiggle. It's easy to rewind the tape, see her performing this high energy club song that reinforces what she's known for instead of "911, Get Bellevue on the Line" at the VMA's.

"Suga Mama" is notable for a Memphis funk guitar sample (?) that I haven't heard in a long time, although the drums sound like The Meters used on "Crazy in Love." Great beat selection as she talks about buying guys short sets and calling her accountant for anything else they want.. because IT's so good. "Upgrade Ya" is a thumper that continues with the Suga Mommaness. Where does all this generosity come from, the mind of a woman on whip cream? Speaking of which, Jay's verse is a step above his so-so "Deja Vu" appearance. He's still warming up for that return.

"Kitty Kat," again, title aside, considering her good ol Southern girl persona, is serviceable in getting the message out for dissatisfied females.

After that, song number 5, it's an Olympic-like slide down hill. Not a good thing for a 10 song album. If "Freak Um Dress" theme-wise is the same thing heard over the past 25 minutes - the fed up chick who's ready to break free - than "Green Light" is just a nail in the forehead.

We get it. You're not taking shit, freaky girl, ready to party.

I'm guessing the album's short length is due to some of the songs being removed after listening to them with a clear head. You know, just realizing that they truly stunk.

"Resentment" should have been in that bunch. Beyonce has never been at the top of the list for vocal talents. She's more of an entertainer than a pure singer, and this song is evidence of that. About a minute in it becomes barely listenable as she seems to be screeching through what I imagined would be a soothing ballad. Maybe it's the collision of instruments in the background, and the lyrics and the complete vibe change from the previous 8 tracks as this strong woman suddenly becomes emotionally vulnerable for a second. She's singing passionately, but it's hard to imagine even a teenage girl twisting the volume on this to sing along.

When it's all said, this album may do big numbers, but it's nowhere near being worth the album designation, nor a marker for the celebrity status she enjoys. Buy the individual tracks 1-5 and leave the rest.

back to the ratings..

Track By Track

-- Degrees --	10	20	30	40	50	60	70	80	90	100
1. Deja Vu
2. Get Me Bodied
3. Suga Mama
4. Upgrade U
5. Ring the Alarm
6. Kitty Kat
7. Freakum Dress
8. Green Light
9. Irreplaceable
10. Resentment

The Industry Says

Entertainment Weekly - B+ "Indifferent production bogs down about half the songs, but the best tracks are so thrilling that they buoy you through the dullish patches. And there is at least one big surprise: ''Irreplaceable,'' a lilting tune unlike anything Beyonc� has ever performed, produced by Stargate, the hot Norwegian team behind Ne-Yo's smash ''So Sick.'' Toward the end comes ''Listen,'' an inspirational ballad about ''the song in my heart,'' which builds to an enormous schlock-opera climax. It's a bit of a bummer that such a tough record winds down on this gloopy note, but Beyonc� has her reasons."

New York Times - - "With an album as premeditated and as nutty as �B�Day,� Beyonc� now qualifies as a full-fledged diva."

Slant Magazine - 3 1/2 stars "B'Day sounds like the album "Crazy In Love" initially forecasted. The ballads are tacked onto the end and are, therefore, easier to dismiss as mere afterthoughts. The old-school "Resentment" would have worked better in the context of Destiny's Child (instead of one Beyonc�, we get three, and all of them are screaming at the top of their lungs), and the Dreamgirls bonus track, "Listen," is a schmaltzy AC ballad that will undoubtedly be the payoff for fans of Beyonc�'s voice who sat through the first 38 minutes of the album waiting for the cum shot."

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