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The Way We See It - March 2006
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March 7, 2006 *updated Monday-Friday (unless it's a slow day)
Andrei Kirilenko Offered a Slice of Pizza a Year - 1:36 p.m.

Did you hear about this one? In this month's ESPN magazine Utah Jazz power forward/swat shot expert Andrei Kirilenko got an offer not everyone could refuse. His wife of six years, Russian pop star Masha Lopatova, said she would allow him to sleep with another woman one night a year. Her reasoning is that if he is deprived of other women, he will want them even more, so once in a while why not give him permission to sleep with at least one of them. More eloquently, I quote Lopatova from a followup article in the Salt Lake Tribune, "It's the same way raising children," she said. "If I tell my child, 'No pizza, no pizza, no pizza,' what does he want more than anything? Pizza."

Andrei Kirilenko doesn't think it's a big deal, just something they have talked about to ensure that they have a lifetime of happiness. Not everyone gets this kind of offer though. After the ESPN article, the news has been buzzing around locker rooms all over the NBA; some saying how lucky he is, others laughing because they know they get more than one night's worth of women a year regardless. The difference here is that it's consensual sex.

Seattle Sonics forward Nick Collison was so excited that he showed the article to his girlfriend hoping she would take the hint. She didn't. "She instantly got mad at me," said Collison. "Her defenses came up and all of a sudden she was in a bad mood. I know not to ask for anything like that."

Nick Collison's teammate Ray Allen said his fiance is open minded and everything, but he knows his girlfriend wouldn't want to see him with someone else.

In an unrelated comment, but a tip at what he might say about the Kirilenko situation, after last night's game when asked about his birthday plans Shaq said, "I'm going to just go home, be thankful for my beautiful wife and gorgeous kids."

For his part, Andrei Kirilenko is of the same mind, saying that he won't take his wife up on the offer. You know, keeping the trust and all that. With a 4-year-old son, he mentioned, "Naturally I pictured little Teddy asking: "Where's Daddy?" on the night in question and wondering what Mommy's answer would be."

That's an easy one, Mommy's answer will be Daddy went out for pizza.

I personally think this is the worst idea ever. Do you really want to know that your boyfriend/girlfriend is sleeping with someone else? I think not. Insert Spike Lee's "Summer of Sam" in that movie a guy talks his girlfriend into going to a swingers club. For those that don't know, imagine a club dance floor, but instead of leaning and rocking, or grinding with clothes on, there's all out sex.. balls to the walls, breasts on chests, taking a little of this one.. and looking over your shoulder and getting some of that.

Sound good? This guy thought so. So he talks his girlfriend into going. So there they are on the floor, going at it with different people. In the middle of the action he's looking at his girlfriend and she's moaning and has this lustful face on. Some guy is nailing her from behind. Yeah, she's enjoying the night. The guy's not enjoying it at all. He's with another girl, but he's looking at his girlfriend in disbelief. When they leave the club he can't stop mentioning how much she was into it. Keeps asking her about it and starts to look at her differently, you know, my girlfriend the slut.

Tired of his badgering she tells him that he asked her to go to the club, WTF?

You see how trouble starts?

The moral of the story: Never give your girlfriend/boyfriend/wife a free fuck pass.

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